


Learning From Our Mistakes

by ellacj



Series: Addicted To Her Absence [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/F, Overdosing, Pills, Sequel, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 11:43:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2427443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellacj/pseuds/ellacj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Addict (n.): one who becomes physiologically or psychologically dependent on an activity, habit, or substance.</p><p>Sequel to "Old Habits Die Hard"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learning From Our Mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> As per multiple requests, a follow-up/sequel type deal to "Old Habits Die Hard".

Emma’s not really sure what happens after she swallows the pill. She thinks maybe she took a few more… she lost count of how many. All she knows is she wakes up with ringing ears and blurry vision.

“Ma?” Henry’s voice sounds distant, almost as though she’s hearing him from underwater. She tries to respond, but finds her throat closed off by some unknown obstacle. He calls for her again and again, each time a little more desperately until finally, he comes into the living room and runs to her side.

She’s vaguely aware of the open whiskey and the bottle of pills tipped over on the floor beside the couch, and some part of her knows what happened, but she’s still confused when Henry starts talking to someone very loudly and very quickly.

The next time Emma regains consciousness (though if she’s being honest she’s not entirely sure when she lost it) she’s lying on a slightly uncomfortable bed in a white room that’s so bright it hurts her eyes. “Hm?” she groans, forcing her eyes open beyond a squint, almost smiling when the first person she sees is Henry. “What happened?” she tries her best to say, though it comes out more like “wha ha’enn”.

“You overdosed,” Henry says quietly.

And then it all comes back to her; the whiskey, the cigarettes, the pills taken from Regina’s purse. A wave of guilt crashes down over her head at letting Henry see her like that – at letting him see her break down.

“I… I didn’t know what to do. So I called Mom and she brought you here.”

“Henry,” a soft, cool voice says from her right. “Why don’t you go home with Robin?”

“No. I don’t wanna leave her.”

Regina crosses the room, her heels clicking on the linoleum floor and making Emma’s head pound. “She’ll be fine, sweetheart, but you need your rest. Go home. I’ll call you if anything happens.”

There’s a brief silence, but Henry eventually concedes and leaves the room with a quick squeeze to Emma’s hand and a whispered, “Please get better.”

Emma falls under the wave of unconsciousness again before Regina can even get a word in, resurfacing a few hours later.

Regina’s still there, sitting with her legs crossed in the plastic chair, glasses perched on her nose as she pores over a folder in her lap. Emma remembers she used to love staring at Regina work; loved watching the woman she loved get absorbed in the job she was so passionate about. The woman in front of her, the one who isn’t a mayor but a low-salary accountant, lacks the twinkle in her eye that Regina had a year ago, the love she had for the hardest job in Storybrooke. She gave up that life for Robin and his lion tattoo and settled into this one.

Emma just barely sees her look up to make eye contact before she falls under again, the exhaustion of the day combined with the process of the toxins slowly being drained from her system not allowing her more than a few seconds of consciousness.

The next time she opens her eyes the clock reads 11:46 and Regina is still awake. Her face has lost its hardened edge and has been replaced by an expression of desperation. “Hey,” Emma whispers, her voice cracking with a combination of disuse and dry throat.

“You’re awake.”

“Not for long.” And then she’s out again.

At four o’clock in the morning, Regina’s asleep on a cot in the corner. Her breathing is soft and even and shallow and even from here, Emma can see her eyelids fluttering in the midst of a dream. All she can think about is how much she misses seeing that up close every night.

She wakes up again at eight, and Regina is still there. She’s awake now, sitting again in the hard plastic chair and talking on the phone. She hangs up as soon as she sees Emma’s eyes open. “Drink this,” she says immediately, handing Emma a small plastic cup of water.

Emma gently sips, grateful for the moisture that floods her mouth and throat. “Thanks,” she manages, giving Regina the empty cup. “Why are you here?” It’s not what she meant to ask, but it’s what she wants to know.

“Because I promised Henry I’d stay.”

“Yeah. But why did you do that?”

Regina doesn’t reply. She opens her mouth a few times like she’s about to say something, but every time she seems to think better of it and remains silent. Emma can only fight herself for so long before she’s pulled back under again, and all she really wants is some real sleep.

Regina isn’t there when Emma wakes up again. The clock tells her she’s been out for almost six hours this time; no wonder she left. But no, there’s the door opening, and Regina coming in. She’s still in the same clothes from yesterday. She hasn’t been home.

Quickly, Emma closes her eyes and slows her breathing, pretending she’s still asleep.

Regina takes her hand. She gently brushes circles over the back of it with her thumb and murmurs soft words to her. “Emma, please get through this. I know you can if you want to; so I need you to want to.” Emma forces herself to remain absolutely limp as Regina presses the softest of kisses to her hand. “I’m sorry I left last year. And I’m sorry I left today. But I swear to you that if you make it through this I never will again.”

Regina’s words are still spinning around in Emma’s head when she wakes up two hours later. “Where’s Robin?” Emma asks before anything else. Her voice is hoarse, and she graciously accepts the water Regina gives her as she listens for a reply.

“He’s with Henry and Roland.”

“And you stayed here this whole time?”

“Making up for all the times I didn’t, I suppose.” Regina shifts in her seat. “I’m going to tell Robin to move out.”

Emma raises her eyebrows. “You are?”

“I’m unhappy with him, and even if you won’t have me back, I at least want to be free to love again. Though I doubt I ever will,” she adds under her breath, and Emma’s not entirely sure she was meant to hear it. “And I poured my pills down the toilet; every last one. I’m going to be better than I was before, I promise you I am.”

“Look, I don’t know if I can jump back into this. Into us.”

“I understand.”

“Not right away,” Emma finishes as though Regina never spoke. “I need time. I gotta talk to Henry about this; I have to get better. Regina, I have to learn how to deal with my issues before I can be with anyone. I can’t love you or anyone else until I learn how to love myself.”

Regina smiles gently, reaching out to take Emma’s hand. “I’m glad we’ve both come to realize what we need. Though I’m sorry it took you nearly dying to see it.”

“Maybe that’s just it though. Sometimes that’s what it takes; a near-death experience. It takes something big to disrupt something you’ve forced yourself to believe is true.”

“When did you get so wise?”

“Somewhere in those million hours of unconsciousness.” Emma smiles weakly. “I wanna think that this is our second chance.”

“I won’t mess it up this time,” Regina promises.

“Yes you will. And I will too. We just have to be better at getting through the times we mess up. And I feel like it’s gonna be easier this time around. We just have to believe in each other.”

Regina squeezes Emma’s hand, her wide brown eyes alarmingly innocent compared to what they were the last time Emma saw her. “I believe in you.”

“Me too. In you, I mean.”

“I think we’re going to be all right, you and me.”

Emma grins. “Yeah. I think we are.”


End file.
